Communication: Asking For What You Want
Hi! My name is Sandra, and I’m asking you to read this blog and support me in my small business. LOL No, really…this is part of why I want to write on a topic about asking for what you want. I think a lot of times, we do something good and then we expect reward for it. However, that doesn’t always happen. If it did, we would all be super motivated, hard working individuals and we all know that is NOT the case.
Asking for what you want takes courage. Of course, most of us don’t even really know what we want. We could start with the easy stuff — you know, asking for a raise, asking for a promotion, asking the bank to check if we can qualify for a better mortgage. What about asking yourself what you want?
Take a hard look at what you are doing in life, where you are and where you want to end up. Maybe you’re a really hard worker, and you have saved all your money to buy something really nice for yourself, or to bring your family over from another country. Maybe you’re suffering in poverty and are wondering where your next meal is coming from. Either way, we are all just people. We all start as babies; we learn from the adults in our lives, or our families. We learn expectations of how to act and behave in society and we turn into the people we are today from all these interactions. The experiences we have in life as we grow and learn help to shape us and develop our personalities and beliefs.
So when we’re talking in terms of asking for what we want, there are a number of situations in which we could think about. These are in relationships, (either emotional or physical aspects), your own goals and what you want out of life, or asking the universe and manifesting what you want in that way.
Relationships include all the people that you surround yourself with. This could be your boss, people at work, your family, your spouse, your children, acquaintances, and people you see in passing every day, like at the grocery store or people on the street. Within these relationships, asking for what you want could range from asking someone at the grocery store to reach a high can on a top shelf, to asking your spouse/partner to be more emotionally available. The thing is, people cannot read minds. The whole point is that we NEED to ASK people for what we want.
For instance, you might be in a relationship and you may be feeling alone, or like your partner doesn’t care about you. You might assume that they don’t love you anymore, but they might be going through something and haven’t wanted to talk about it. The point is, you need to ask (or communicate) them as to what is going on. I’m going to borrow a phrase from one of my favorite authors, Karen Marie Moning. In her Fever series, Jericho Barrons, one of the supporting characters always says,
“the word ‘assume’ makes an ass out of you and me”
It’s really true — it doesn’t matter what relationship we’re talking about here. Assuming anything is very dangerous because you only know for sure when you talk to someone. Maybe in your work, you haven’t received an automatic raise, and you think it’s because you aren’t doing a very good job. Truthfully, in a healthy work environment, your boss should be conducting regular reviews with their staff. However, sometimes they get busy or maybe they’re waiting for you to ASK. In some work environments, asking for what you want is seen as being ambitious; however, most of the time, your boss is going to want proof that you’re working hard, and being capable of receiving a raise.
The other way we can think about asking for what you want is manifestation. Manifestation is basically focusing so much on one thing that you make it happen. More likely, it means that you are so focused on your goal, that you work hard and do things that you end up making it happen yourself.
The other day, I had Treehouse on for my daughter, and Thomas the Train was on. The show was giving a lesson on superstition and luck. The point of the show was that if you believe in good things, good things will happen. This is similar to making good things happen for yourself. You can’t expect to sit back, waiting for someone to hand you what you want on a silver platter. You need to be actively engaged every day, and focused on doing things that will move you closer to your goals.
For example, I create goals for myself based on growing my business. If I were to ignore my daily tasks and sit back and wait for something to happen, it’s not going to happen. I need to have a positive mindset every day and work hard toward what I want. The more I get done, the happier I am and I carry this positive mindset forward and get even more work done. The reverse happens too — I might start off having a bad day, and then be unmotivated to do any work. I end up moping around, or doing something else entirely (not on my list) and getting nothing accomplished toward my goals.
So I guess I could say how I ask the universe for help is by stating my goals. I physically write them down on paper. That’s what I want to happen, but then a lot of my growth comes from having a positive mindset, working hard and focusing my time on the things I want to improve.
Asking for what you want all comes down to having a discussion. Whether that discussion takes place between you and another person, or yourself and the universe (or your God), you need to work it out. You cannot expect people to read your mind, and you can’t expect to sit back and wait for good things to land in your lap. Be kind, be positive, work hard and karma will find you!
❤️ SAN